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课堂上的笑话,爆笑

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2012-01-16 14:04更新 / 38115 人浏览过 / 6 条评论

1、老师问学生:“谁能说一下自然界的四大元素是什么?”
学生:‘第一是火,第二是空气,第三是土壤,第四是……”
“第四是什么?不要急,你好好想想,平时你洗手的时候用的是什么?”
学生受到老师的启发后欣然回答:“第四元素是肥皂。”

2、数学老师:“……现在,我们可以得出结论,X等于零。”
学生:“唉,算了这老半天,都白费功夫了。”

3、演讲比赛结束之后,班主任作总结:“我们讲话时,语言要简练,要有艺术性。林语堂先生说过一句话,‘一篇精彩的演讲,应该像少女穿的迷你裙,越短越好’。”
一个学生举手提问:“那要是一句话也不说呢?”
班主任厉声道:“不准耍流氓!”

4、语文老师让学生用“却”“但是”造句,并解释道:“这两个词都是转折连词。‘却’是小转,像转一个小弯,‘但是’是大转,像转个大弯。”
有学生立即说:“我家到学校只转几个‘却’,而到外婆家要转几个‘但是’。”

5、上算术课的时候,老师问小明:“如果你把手伸进右边的裤兜里发现了25元钱,伸进左兜后又发现了35元钱,这说明了什么?”
小明回答:“这说明我的手一定伸进了别人的裤兜!”

6、老师:“写作文和做菜一样,做菜前要先准备好材料,然后再对材料进行挑拣,取其精华,去其糟粕……”
学生:“拣菜的事儿我们都会,可是我们不会炒。”

7、美术课上,老师让同学们画人物头像,但大家都忙(请保留转载自http://xiao688.com)着做语文和数学作业,竟无一人画画。美术老师勃然大怒:“每个人放学之前,必须交出一个人头,否则不许回家!”

原文网址:http://www.xiao688.com/cms/article/id-115834.html
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评论(6条)
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 10楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-22 13:19
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顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 9楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-21 19:53
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 8楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-16 13:10
一点也不好笑
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 7楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-15 21:09
太搞笑了
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 6楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-15 19:39
要不是为了手抄报,我才不得来也 哼哼!!嘻嘻,不过蛮搞笑的——————————嘻嘻 ——童星——陈厚佳
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 5楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-02-12 22:32
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 4楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-01-28 18:55
hao
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 3楼 竹与天 竹与天 2012-01-20 14:43
语文课,老师问全班同学谁能解释‘缘份’一词吗?没人举手。老师举例:例如你们的爸爸和妈妈结婚并生育了你们,这就是缘份。一同学举手并发言说:我知道了,‘缘份’就是男人那根圆圆的东西遇到女人那条扁扁的缝。
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 2楼 竹与天 竹与天 2012-01-20 14:43
语文课,老师问全班同学谁能解释‘缘份’一词吗?没人举手。老师举例:例如你们的爸爸和妈妈结婚并生育了你们,这就是缘份。一同学举手并发言说:我知道了,‘缘份’就是男人那根圆圆的东西遇到女人那条扁扁的缝。
顶(0) 踩(0) 举报 回复 1楼 匿名网友 匿名网友 2012-01-20 08:22
太好笑了!
 
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